Remember those TED talks we used to watch in classes, and still sometimes do. Those were some of the most interesting and effective speeches and presentations that I have seen. I decided to watch some TED talks and try to make my presentation as interesting as theirs.
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| Ken Robinson's TED talk "Do Schools Kill Creativity?" is regarded as one of the best speeches ever given on TED. |
What I realized is that their speeches are a series of stories. Now, I can’t simply tell stories, because the College Board will destroy me for that (see title of Ken Robinson’s speech above). So I decided to convert my literature review into a story, but keep the basic structure of the other parts of my paper the same. I had to rewrite and reorganize my entire literature review in a way that I could show the academic gap and context around the question, while still “tying evidence to claims” as the College Board’s rubric wants.
Like I said, my literature review was the only part of my paper that really needed to be modified for my presentation. The other three sections in my paper followed a similar structure in my speech. But, in order to satisfy Rubric Row 3, I decided to add an entire section talking about my original hypothesis/ideas and how they were changed/challenged by my results. Another thing that I added was a terrible story at the beginning of the presentation which I am hoping to use to hook my audience. It is supposed to be funny, but if you don’t find it funny, please just say so—it is not really a necessary part of my presentation, I was just hoping to add some flavor to my presentation (for Rubric Row 4).
My biggest concerns for my script is its length. I currently have around 2800 words, which I think is too much for 15 minutes, so please feel free to point out any places that are unnecessary or too wordy. Also, I am worried that because I know so much about my topic, that my speech could be too confusing. So again, if you feel like I am missing some parts or claims, just point it out and I will try my best to fix it.
Overall, I am very happy that we have moved on from our paper. Although my paper is not perfect, I think my paper is still a lot better than it was two weeks ago, thanks to all the feedback I got from my peers. Although I am extremely nervous for the presentation, I can’t wait for that day to come so it can all be over!
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Gursajan! I think that you did such a fine job articulating the nuances of your research clearly to your audience in your presentation script! Your script was so fun to read, and I was able to fully understand the conclusions that you drew as I went through your script. I’ll touch on what I thought of each Rubric Row. I included my comments on your script on a copy titled “Rema’s Edits of script,” and I included my comments on your slideshow on the actual slide.
ReplyDeleteRow 1: Since you clearly spent time explaining your research question, as well as what you were trying to find with that, your methods (including how you chose a thematic analysis to be the most effective in achieving an answer), and a clear answer to your question, I think that you fully deserve the highest score in this row.
Row 2: Regarding the conclusions that you drew, I feel that including examples for each of the 5 thematic contrasts that you found in your analysis strengthened your results. Additionally, I really like how you devote a whole slide to the implications of your research, explaining what your findings mean for things other than anime. The limitations of your research, however, could be expanded upon, since you just briefly mention the fact that your research was subjective. Explain how having a single coder could allow for subjective interpretations. Other than this, I think that you establish your argument very thoroughly for your audience.
Row 3: I just want to give you such a big round of applause for including a section in your presentation just for this rubric row. You articulate in great detail how and why your results occurred the way that they did, so great job on this!
Row 4: With regards to how you engaged your audience, I personally really enjoyed your story at the beginning of your presentation. I could clearly imagine you saying that, and it reflects your personality well. I thought that you had great visual aids in the beginning of your presentation, especially depicting the distinction between subtitles and dubbing. However, your visual aids when you were describing your Results, such as the various tables, were extremely wordy and difficult to read. Imagine what the College Board would see, watching this video from a camera that was all the way at the back of the room. However, you point this out in your slides, so this can be easily remediable.
I think that you are on a great path for success! Less than 3 weeks left!
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Gursajan! I really like what you have so far for your presentation and it was super fun to learn more about your project.
ReplyDeleteI think that, overall, you did a really awesome job on each of the rubric rows for the presentation, so kudos on that, and with some edits you'll be in great shape!
Row 1: You definitely have the question, methods, and conclusion explained very thoroughly in your presentation so you got this one down woohoo.
Row 2: I think that your argument was presented pretty well. One thing that you could improve is cutting down on the amount of time you spend on your literature review (just w the wordiness, not with the content) because you only have 3 min for that which is v v fast. I think throughout you have a very solid explanation of everything that you're talking about so I really felt like you presented a very compelling argument. Overall, all the content is there, so you just need to add transitions and cut down on the wordiness.
Row 3: You definitely explain reasons for getting the themes that you did, so that's awesome and I found it really interesting that you were able to explain that, but I would like maybe a little bit more about themes beyond individualism/collectivism- you kind of go over the time thing really quickly and how it relates to the 4 other themes but it was real quick and could have been explained a little further
Row 4: the script was pretty well written and with a reduction of the wordiness would be super compelling. Your slides have a LOT of small words on it sometimes, but by making the text bigger and maybe cutting down on the number of words they would be good. Your slides seem pretty comprehensive and there are a lot of pictures which i appreciate, but maybe putting some images as the background would be lit idk it's pretty good :)
Good job fam
Hey Gursajan!
ReplyDeleteThis was actually my first official introduction to your project, and it looks awesome! I think that your script and your slides were pretty on point, so great job.
Rubric Row 1: You clearly articulate your question, methods, and conclusion, so great job.
Rubric Row 2: I think that you had all of the important information in your paper. Your biggest problem was that you're a little bit wordy, I think. A lot of your introductions to new ideas were 5-6 words when they could be simplified to 1-2. This'll free up space for you to talk more about other things and will help alleviate confusion when you're presenting.
Rubric Row 3:Your reasoning was pretty solid as well. You included a good amount of detail, and I think that your thought process was well articulated and easy to follow. Again, be careful about being too wordy. I also think that you have too much information in some cases, like when you talk about content analyses. That just sucks up a bunch of your time, and it's not really necessary.
Rubric Row 4: I really liked the design of your slides, and I really enjoyed the story that you opened your presentation with! However, I have to agree with Daphne when she says that your font was WAY too small at times. I was having a hard time reading most of the charts that you've included. Other than that, though, it looks great.
Great work this week!!